Rosh Hashanah

You beat me to it. I can only second your thoughts. 

I can vaguely remember going to Church even before we moved to Texas. That means I can remember going to Church at the age of 3 at the latest. As such, I never found it at all intimidating. It was part of life.

The congregations were small and autonomous. There was, as is, no episcopal hierarchy. There were only the members, who elected their deacons and elders. Everyone knew everyone else.

Particularly in those days, most Churches of Christ were located in very simple buildings. The inside was generally white, had pews and a pulpit up front from which someone led the singing (a cappella) and the preacher gave the sermon. There was a baptismal font up front generally on the opposite side of the pulpit. 

Churches of Christ are seriously anti-idol worship. There are no crucifixes, statues or pictures in the Church. When our congregation grew so much that we had to build a new chapel there was a serious discussion about whether or not it would have a simple, abstract stained glass window upfront behind the altar. The stained-glass crew won out, but I still think it was a mistake. 

We had Sunday school, which was divided according to one's age. After that came the sermon. There was much socializing before Sunday School as well as before and after the sermon. The Lord's Supper was taken every Sunday. It consisted of matzo and grape juice. No alcoholic beverages for us. 

In addition to Sunday morning service, we also had Sunday night service and Wednesday night service. 

As I grew into my teens, I began to find the sermons boring and too many of the people phony. (That people were phony should not have any effect on believe, in my opinion.) Phonies abound in life. The message is what counts. Over time, I drifted away from it all, but I have not forgotten much of what I learned in those early years. 

Over the decades, I have run into many ex-Christians (if one can call them that) who resent the Church, resent people trying to convert them or talk to them about Christianity.  I find this very silly. Why should I resent someone who has my well being at heart and is willing to take the time to talk to me about it? In fact, I find it somewhat touching. Most people don't give a damn about others. 

I hold no resentment for Christianity or bad memories of going to Church. In fact, I think it would be absolutely wonderful to be able to believe in the Christian message. It would make life much easier. I don't mean physically, I mean spiritually and philosophically. Knowing the way, the truth and the life would lift a huge burden off everyone, I am sure. Having the answers to all the questions would be so satisfying. Oh well....

It's not my job to convert, of course. In fact, I'm not at all sure what I'd being converting you to.

What I will say is that there is a legitimate place between bible-thumping believer and alienated-angry atheist. That place has usually gone unrecognized or ill-defined.

Our culture is pretty stupid, and perhaps always has been. I think what is usually derogatorily regarded as "agnostic" is really, "Lord, I want to believe, but life has handed me so much shit, my pitchfork blades are worn down. There's just no more hay in the loft."

That might be a mixed barnyard metaphor. I'll have to send it through ChatGPT to find out. Whatever the case may be, there is a maxim in Christianity (could equally apply to Judaism) that when we dispense with all our little false-gods, we start to get to the real deal.

Prosperity Gospel, for instance, is the false god of avarice wrapped up in the clothing of the holy. I personally think that black churches that engage in all the shouting are perhaps engaging in the same sort of "Church as Entertainment" that has overtaken much of the Christian churches who have sound systems rivaling what The Rolling Stones must have started out with.

I'm still executing some of my false gods, here and there. The "God as wish fulfiller" died some time back. The "God as personal guidance counselor" met a similar fate. But the tipping point comes. A time of judgment. Whether we take the red pill or the blue pill. Will it be as Frank said, "All or nothing at all"?

And often escaping that false choice is as simple as getting a handle on the concept of the apophatic...understanding God from what he is not rather than jumping to the operational negation of god (atheism, in its various forms). Many say all we need is a "leap of faith." Perhaps. But the world we live in is not so simple and binary – believe or not believe. And to find oneself living in that smeared-out gray space is neither surprising nor cause for apologies.

I'm not the church-going type, whatever I may believe. I'm perhaps a bit like Artler (I assume). I have a reflexive distrust of the groupmind. And that, in my opinion, is what you'll find in church.

But I don't want the group mind. Frankly, I don't need others (well, maybe you guys) to figure this stuff out. The difference is, unlike atheists, I don't sneer at the religious for their sometimes simple ways and beliefs, for I know that at least they are on better philosophical ground than even the most intellectual atheist (and, frankly, I have never run across a thoughtful atheist).

So God, who surely exists in some form, perhaps is (I hope you're sitting down for this) bigger than any church can hold. I think He can carve out a space for those who hold him at arm's length but don't totally let go. I think the parable of the prodigal son is one of the most powerful stories in the Bible.

Ok, as long as I'm considered the handsome one. 

I have been through a number of stages from the 60s radical to the 90s conservative and religiously much the same. At one time I seriously considered entering a very orthodox community. The Marines and subsequent events, mostly overseas, changed that. The mid to late 70s I was mostly agnostic. When I met the love of my life I thought there must be some higher power guiding us together. It was my misfortune to convince her that Zionism was not just an intellectual concept and that our people had every right to live, as Jewish a life as we chose. How could I ever tell her not to go to Israel? There are numerous reasons why I did not go with her, all of them valid and logical. Still I regret not going. As a kind of expat Israeli I still have a valid passport. It would have been no problem on a political basis. She was determined to make her own life in Israel and she loved Israel more than she love me. I can accept that. I did then,I do now. 

It was the high holy days of 96. She was returning home from Hebrew University and was kidnapped by a Palestinian and murdered. That was the time I quit talking to G-d. It's not like I suddenly became an atheist, or even agnostic. But I cannot forgive letting this fine woman die in a horrific manner. I respect His will and power, but this was a line I can not cross. He does his thing and I do mine. 

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipper reflect a time of self-examination for the Jewish soul. We are asked to consider our lives and the lives of family and friends. We do not expect to make perfect changes but to make incremental changes for the better. To be a better father, husband, brother or friend. It is I believe the entire intent of all our literature and philosophy to make the world a little better when we leave it than we found when we were born. Indeed, isn't that the goal of all true religion? Yet, look how that simple goal has been perverted by political events, the need to put butts in the pews and yes, unscrupulous religious leaders. My time is nearly over. I hope that nothing worse will be said of me then, "he saw to justice when he could and was loved" 

In the end, it would seem we are the sum total of our biology, experience and how we react to both. Sometimes this is too much for an individual.

Perhaps something stands outside biology and experience and that would be soul or spirit. Can that help us to rise above ourselves?

This saying goes in my list of favorites.



Something tells me that Jesus would approve of that interpretation.