Nice 'n' Easy Does It

So to be “perfectly normal” means one is flawed.

Not having met the man, I can't claim to know the reason for his mental state. Is he alone with no family? Perhaps living in Washington State has driven him round the bend. If one is constantly bombarded with the toxic stuff spewed by leftists, then there is bound to be some effect.
My father used to say it thusly, "Take some time to stop and smell the roses." Everyone should do that, but I believe too many Americans have gone overboard in this area and don’t only stop to smell the roses, they lie down in the rose bed forgetting there are thorns.

Throughout history, life has been a struggle for the vast majority of people. It has been less of a struggle for modern Americans than any other people in history. For this, and other reasons, a large percentage of them have become the equivalent of those mythical Lotus Eaters who were drugged into a complacent stupor. Fat, dumb, lazy and happy as Mdm. Flu has pointed out.

As a result, America truly is in a very bad state. It will take much hard, dirty and difficult work to change this. And there is no guarantee that it can be changed.

We need to rediscover the truth that in order to live the good life, one must spend more time in honest productive work than in mindless leisure. And no, not all leisure is mindless. Building for the future, instead of consuming all the capital of the past is required. Seeing reality as it is, as opposed to pretending the moral frauds and insane lies surrounding us are true. We need to be openly  honest with ourselves and others. 

So yes, it is good to relax and not let oneself get twisted into a emotional pretzel. But one must face the world without rose-colored glasses and act accordingly.

As I wrote this, it came to me that perhaps one cause of your friend’s frustration is that, for whatever reason, (hint business) he has chosen to keep all his thoughts and beliefs closed up inside. His moaning to you being an exception. He doesn’t feel able to be truthful about things. He is living a lie. This would upset anyone.

Multiply this by the millions who work for large corporations of the government. What a huge amount of frustration and anger.

Theodore Dalrymple touched on this in one of his books. He noted that one of the motivations totalitarian states have in pushing obvious lies is that people become humiliated/demoralized by constantly repeating a clear and obvious falsehood. In such ways do tyrants crush us. I believe fighting back with the truth will relieve a lot of the internal pressure your friend is experiencing. If possible, be a cheerful warrior. 

"you will know the the truth, and the truth will set you free."

John 8:32  

Withing a statistically range. Or, answer the question: "How many sexes are there?" That's a quick determinant of Normal.



Lives above his shop with a wife and a dog. And living in Washington State certainly doesn't help. But he's always been a bit dramatically obsessive over behavior and things. I mean, when we were 18 and micro-managing our appearance and behavior because of the opposite sex (this was normal, but at the same time pretty abnormal at times), getting a little tightly wound was normal.

But, Jesus Holy Christ, if we're still doing that at age 50 or so, we really need to at least be aware that (in my opinion) that we are making a choice to do so for some reason. That is my Jordanesque opinion. I told him so.

I said, "There's almost certainly some pay-off that you get for obsessing over this stuff. It may be that it relieves you from having to change something else that needs changing." I told him that this sort of thing was typical of my older brother who fires off heavy rounds of guilt from time to time. And I'm quite sure he does this (consciously or not) because it relieves him of having to correct how he's treating other people. As long as he feels suitably guilty, he's paid his Indulgence price. He can remain as he is.

Granted, I do think a lot of this is obviously done unconsciously, which is why I'm writing this. It's also a reminder to me to lighten-up-Francis. And I try. And I was (and did) have a good day the other day. But hitting this guy's wall of negative waves was (for me) such an important reminder to not live like an unconscious martyr.



Well, your father obviously had some wisdom in him. I'll admit that it's hard to disengage from culture. And this is really what I'm talking about. Even if you're not a poor slub who spends five hours a day obsessing on "social" media apps, we all live in what I consider this sewer of modern culture. So I think we do have to remind ourselves to put on some mental galoshes once in a while.

I was thinking the other day, they say that humans are a "social" species. But that's not quite the right label. Wolves are a social species. Prairie dogs are a social species. But you won't find prairie dogs (or any other social species in the wild) adopting traits that are stupid and destructive.

Humans are not a "social" species so much as they are an imitator/faddish species. And when fads go bad ("transgenderism," for example), it can pull a lot of otherwise sensible people into this vortex. And that exactly describes where we are now and why we need those mental galoshes now more than ever.



I'm not so sure they're happy, though. Distracted, yes. Happy? I wonder.



Bingo. Well said. I couldn't agree more.



Yes. As I said, this isn't a plea for namby-pamby. For, really, nothing can bring a person a sense of purpose and peace than grappling honestly with things and fighting the good battle, win or lose. But simply rehashing one's mental anguish endlessly, as so many do, is not the way to anything good. And, yes, it's clearly true than when our culture is filled with a lot of really bad ideas, it will have an affect on people's mental health and sense of well-being. That's why we have to change our stance from passive punching bags to charting our own course. And as I've said often, that inherently means leaving large swaths of this culture behind.

We don't really have the option (hard as it was) to move from Old Europe to make a new start on a new continent...or to just move West after the East had become too corrupt and crowded. We're sort of stuck here. So we can either let them demoralize us and wear us down or we can make a conscious decision that that ain't never effen going to happened. And that's what I'm saying here in this thread.



Oh, God, yes. This post will become too long if I tell you about the chat I had yesterday with a teacher from the local community college. But it was obvious from talking to him that talking to me (no brag, just fact) was something quite uncommon and was a chance for him to not so much vent but to get in touch with Normal again.

And it's funny about that Sinatra song (and the album it comes from with the same title). Many of the rest of the songs on that album are a bit more melancholy. But, yeah, he's in good voice.

This is a short story by Somerset Maugham, which I read 50 years ago while studying in Vienna. I thought it might interest you.

The Lotus Eater  

It is hard to believe that it is almost exactly 50 years ago today that I flew to Europe for my Junior Year Abroad. I left Dallas Love Field early/middle June in 1973 and returned to DFW Airport in August of 1974. Where did it all those years go? 

As I recall there was also another lesson. That is that for all the fine talk and pretense one displays to the world, when reality presents itself and one's bet is called, fine words have little value and desperation can set in, ripping away the silly and facile facade one has maintained for the world and oneself. When this happens, the Lotus Eater can quickly become a pathetic and squalid figure. A self-mocking parody of his former persona. Pitiable. 

As I said, it has been 50 years since I read it, and I may be "mis-remembering" it somewhat. But I do recall the outline of the story and the lesson has stayed with me. Living a lie, and actually believing it until it is too late to recover from it. I believe it is one of Maugham's better short stories. 

By chance I spoke to a friend in Switzerland last evening, who had just returned from a week in Bad Ragaz. This is a super-spa town in the Swiss Alps which is even more expensive than most other Swiss resorts. He and his wife were invited by wealthy relatives to spend a week with them for free. Must be nice. 

The point is that while I was talking to him, he mentioned that it was so nice to get away from all the political nonsense for a week. Nobody discussed politics over any meal or while relaxing together. Sounds like a dream to me. 

It's so much easier to hand out advice than to take it.

This afternoon, at my invitation, I went out to lunch with my two brothers, one younger (who I work with) and one older (the guy who reads Christopher Hitchens for fun).

Okay, first off, it's my fault. I was not the adult in the room. I admit that. I expect neither praise nor commendation. But heckling and "I told you so" is more than allowed.

I think it was his fourth of fifth anti-religious view that tipped me over the edge and I pretty much said (summarizing): "So now that you are on the dark side, anything on the light side repels you. Yes, I get that your wife may be a religious kook. But Christians built this nation. And it is the atheistic religion of Progressivism/Leftism that is tearing it down."

Of course, he was shocked, shocked that he could be thought of as either anti-religious or pro-atheist. I didn't yell at him but I was at DefCon 2-1/2. And I admit I had just had enough. It wasn't any one thing he said today at lunch. And certainly the things he said were not at all atypical.

I did not take it Nice 'n' Easy. But, Jesus, did I mention that this wasn't about rolling over and being namby pamby? I think I did. And although what I said to my brother could hardly be called particularly constructive, he really needs somebody to counter his bullshit.

Do I feel better? No. Worse? Yes, a little. We left on good terms, but I realized when I did it that inviting him for lunch was not a good thing to do. I just think he's gotten too far "out there." So no good deed goes unpunished, and all that.

And, listen, anything I said will not take root. He is perhaps the most un-self-aware person I know. It was just beating my head against the wall and I don't even have the benefit of feeling better about it.

But…

First, he's not a bad guy. Second, his wife is a bit of a religious zealot. I couldn't live with her, although she's a sweet person when she's not bible-thumping.

So, yeah, I get it. He's all but separated from his wife (they live apart on the same property) and the baby of religion got thrown out with the bathwater of marriage. But he used to be a pretty religious person otherwise.

None of us is getting any younger. But my older brother seems to be aging like Darth Sidious. And I don't think it's just my imagination. No, he doesn't spout left wing stuff. But he's in some kind of oldies rock band and the piano player seems to be genuinely the kind of person you wouldn't want to associate with.

So he's lying down with dogs, rejected God entirely, and I think the fleas are starting to show. Yes, he does have a fundamentalist wife who sees "the devil" in the most innocuous stuff. But the way he jokes about this (as if nothing really were ever wrong), it makes me think of that one line: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

I'm not a religious kook. And I certainly would not be called a "believer" by those who believe. And yet there seems to be a deep truth here. If you mock God and pretend the devil is just a joke, you start to go down a dark path.

Oh, I was being charitable, Mr. Flu. He can be damn rotten at times in the way he treats (usually discards) people.

But I finally figured out what set me off.

I don't go to lunch looking for conflict. But sometimes conflict finds you anyway. He probably lubricated the moment with the two or three dumb Christian-bashing things he said. Why? I didn't start this topic. It was just out of his mouth out of the blue.

But I'd heard that all before. But what got me (in retrospect) was when he was ridiculing his wife's friends. He said something like, "You should have seen the gathering of them [at his house]. They were all kooks."

And although the way his wife practices religion is way more devout than I would ever be, it is a devoutness that is fairly normal in Christian circles, thus my comment to him that, because he is now on the dark side, he is reflexively repulsed by displays of devoutness. It's definitely a Dracula-and-garlic thing.

And although I did not know this precise circle of her friends he was talking about, I know many of her (and his) Christian friends from long acquaintance, and these are really decent people.

So when he was mocking and ridiculing them, my anti-bullying gene kicked in. I'm no hero, but I've been here before. I remember sitting around the restaurant table at a quasi-business meeting of about 8 or 9 people headed by a guy I went to school with. Out of the blue (and god only knows why) he started ridiculing a mutual friend who (it turns out) apparently became a lesbian.

Now, I have no particular love for lesbians, but I couldn't sit there while he bad-mouthed her and I jumped to her defense instead of staying silent which would have been easier. She is, in truth, a really sweet person. I knew her petty well. Same thing with the handicapped lady across the street. I will instantly move heaven and earth to help or defend her.

And so that's what got me. His lame-ass bashing of what are almost certainly innocent, humble, and decent people...all while he's palling around with a guy who fucks women who are not his wife on the floor of his home and then gets so drunk that she has an accident on the way home and injures another driver. And that's one of the more commendable stories I've heard about this friend of his.

So I don't apologize because I know now what got me. This is the asshole this guy can be sometimes and he is completely blind to it. All Christians have to be kooky just because he's not one anymore. He reminds me of a liberal in his complete self-indulgent moral inversion.

I believe I understand that. By chance, while talking to a guy today, we somehow came upon this subject through a talk about political correctness. During the discussion, I recalled to him how I used to be much more aggressive with people who mocked and belittled others for no apparent reason. I could be quite merciless in such cases, as I had a gift for smelling out people's weaknesses. I would zero in on these weaknesses and generally overdo it with pointed sarcasm.  

I guess age has mellowed me somewhat. It might also be the fact that I don't associate with so many people these days, particularly assholes.